Mothering Tips from a Joyful Mom

Here are some of the things that I have learned along the Parenting Path: (No doubt you will learn what works for you and yours). People (big and small) are NOT the same if they are too tired or too hungry! (Or with teenagers--need a shower.) Time saving tips: When husband is home, trade times for cutting up veggies and nutritious snacks, making out shopping and menu lists, and going grocery and errand shopping. Chop and store veggies in cold water Tupperware on Sundays to snack on through the week. Cook casserole meals on Saturday when Dad is home and can help with children/baby. Etc. Plan to do ONE thing a day with your child(ren)! Go to the park, make a snowman, take/give a ride in a sleigh, go to library story time, grocery shopping, etc. Consider play dates and child sharing to give mom some "alone time" or "date time with Daddy". Band-aids are magic! Buy them 40 latex free colored band-aids for a dollar at the local dollar tree and enjoy 40 (separate) minutes of validation and instant hurt fixes. (What a wonderful thing a band-aid and a bit or generic antibiotic ointment on a microscopic "hurt" is. Instant validation. Courage. A flag or banner to show your friends of family of your recent devastating wound!) Teach independence: Clean out cupboards and drawers close to the ground and store dishcloths in the lowest, odd kitchen utensils/tools in the drawer up from there (no sharp objects: peelers, graters, knives, etc.) Put plastic cups and plates, and bowls in another bottom drawer and teach the little ones where to find a cup and how to climb up on the toilet--reach the sink and get their own cups of water. Observe a "Quiet Time." This is as much for mother as it is for a toddler or preschooler. After I had two small children (a new baby and a two year old), we organized a routine (not a schedule)...it went something like this...Older child wakes up around this time, we get up and eat breakfast. After breakfast, we make beds, and get dressed. (Breastfeed the baby is liberally put in every hour and a half and so we stop and read small stories throughout the morning). Snack time is mid-morning. Various chores (laundry, dishes, etc.) spaced in between waking baby's needs. Lunch, after lunch, we read a story and my preschooler knows it is Quiet Time. Quiet Time rules vary depending on the age of your child. Young ones who still nap may lay by mom and keep head on the pillow and be quiet. Our rules are that head stays on pillows, stop wiggling, and be quiet. I have a basket of "treats" that they can choose from after Quiet Time. With an older child who may or may not still take naps, they are to stay on their bed and be quiet. I put books to read to themselves, "safe" toys, or things by them. We also have a lock on the outside of their door and sometimes I have set a timer and left it in the room so they know that there is a sart time and a finish time. Quiet Time takes some time to set up and get used to in the routine. Older children (H and R) used to practice Hypnobirthing with me and really enjoyed this Quiet Time with Mom before J was born. (H still comments on it almost seven years later--it was very "relaxing" for her). We have two "Cleaning Parades" where we march through the house and tuck things into the right places...one in the mid morning and one before dad gets home in the evening. You can sing several clean ups songs..."We can play, we can play, now it's time to put away, away, away, away, away, away, away, away..." or "It's time to clean up" fro Barney. A soft answer turns away wrath. Code signs and words. I speak Finnish to my children. It is our "silisous keili" (secret tongue, language). They know when Mom counts low in Finnish to stop, or uses the word "lopetta" (stop), "nyt" (now), etc. Also, for a very young child who is disobeying...words like "treat" "candy" or "bubbles" may bring them back a lot faster than "No! Come back here!" As they streak naked out the front door and giggle naked down the street. Simplify your words...I used to explain with sentences to my oldest. When R came along...I simplified to "no!" "Stop" "Hot--ouch, burn!" Repentance at a young age. With H, I learned that she would escalate my emotions and push my buttons when she or I was tired. We spent some nice times learning about repentance and praying together and then "starting over" after we had had some miscommunications or misunderstandings (starting at age 2). H sometimes said amazing things--far beyond her age, after some of these sessions. Time outs for Mama too. Time outs worked for H, and NOT for R. But for H, and Momma, we would take a time out to settle down or think about what we had done. With R, we did Time In, which means that I had to stop right then and look to see what the trouble was. She did NOT want to be separated from me when she was upset or had made a mistake. I had to get down on her level and see why she was misbehaving and correct or distract her. Library resources. Use them for audio, video, DVD, AND books. Discount stores for educational videos. Savers and D.I. have great Fisher Price toys and videos (most are going to DVDs). A Video break can be a break for Momma too. Use cleaning wipes and disinfect well. Rotate toys and movies so that children don't get "bored" of them by putting some away for a special occasion. Coupons--to use or not to use? If they are helpful, great...if they overwhelm and take up time--skip them and buy things on sale at Macey's and Buy Low. Buy when things are on sale--pick up two or three of something you regularly use. Put favorite recipes in a binder/ folder to be found easily. Junk drawer--perfect for the bits and bobs found around the house that have no "home" of their own. Keep everything in perspective..."this too shall pass" This stage, tantrums, sleep awakenings, teething, morning sickness, winter sadness, etc. Find JOY every day: enjoy a snack, a piece of chocolate, start an audio from the library while you wash dishes or fold clothes, Calendar baby's milestones, JOURNAL with a three ring binder, remember schedules, events, moments, emotions,...