The Stars Shine Brightest Amdist the Darkness

We're back from Mexico!
We carried off the Capbell Family Reunion and the race is ON to get all the children registered for schools, applying ofr lockers and school lunches, bus schedules, and school supplies--not to mentioned my doctors appointments and Susie's dentist appointment scheduled (for a painful cavity).

My Visiting Teachers visited yesterday.  These are two older sisters from the ward who are my other's age.  They began by asking about her.  (She fell and broke her L2 when we were in Mexico and then they delayed the surgery she needed until my Father went to the Head of the Hospital and pleaded  for help.  She is hoe now, but in a lot of pain.)

Then they told me they were sorry to hear of my brother Michael's passing.

So much has gone on this Summer, it is hard not to feel at times numb to it all...Elfi's aggressive Lymphoma and miraculous "cure", our miscarriage, neighbor's grandson's accidental drowning, Elfi's return of Lymphoma--need for Bone Marrow Transplant, Kelene Campbell's Mother's Bone Cancer, our pregnancy and (another) miscarriage, heart and neurological trouble, Scott's suicide--leaving wife Jenny and son to find him!; Michael's death, viewing, funeral, and emotional legal battles, mom's broken back, Elfi's extended hospital stay, etc.  All of this takes place between children's chores, piano lessons, Ballroom Camps, YW Camps, the mundane and usual and family happenings.

Then, one sister mentioned that she was sorry she did not come to the Funeral but was having her own "Family Crisis" during that time.  I asked her about this towards the end of our visit.  She has only a few grandchildren.  (One of her daughters has not married...others have a child or two.)  Her daughter that visited earlier on this Spring from Italy (where her husband is stationed with the U.S. Military) and their two children, has a daughter in the hospital.  "The little girl (5 yrs. old) complained of a headache in the morning and a stomachache in the afternoon.  Then she began seizures.  She is in acoma in the hospital in Italy.  Doctors have done brain scans but report very little activity because of the seizures she had.  They are saying it is Encephalitis/Viral Meningitis.  They suspect she will pass away soon even though the father has requested a transfer to Utah so they can bring her to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake."

Wow, this hit so close to home.  Joe and I had Viral Meningitis a year and a half ago and I am sure the severe neck, back pain I have (that doesn't respond to Tylenol and so I try cold packs, etc.) is residual nerve damage.  So innocent and sweet.  It seems that many children are being called "home."  I ached for this sweet lady--the pain so raw on her face.

What to do?  I went to a local bookshop and looked up books, partly for myself and partly for her.  I am afraid.  I don't want to "have time" for grieving...I have put it off so I could carry on with "Life."  What now?

Focus on the stars (the lights within the darkness) and move forward, I guess.

Today I woke up sick--sneezing, sore throat, climbing fever, kind of sick.  Thank you, Eva.  You are so sweet, we will try and not be too upset you gave me your cold (and it feels like I was hit by a Mack truck!)
Faith, Tylenol, popsicles and lots of tissue--that's what is getting me through.

Yesterday was Michael's funeral and a very long day.  I really enjoyed the two friends' talks by Keith Jacobson and Senator Mike Lee.  Also, the song I was leading (I am a Child of God, all four verses) sounded better than I thought it would--thanks to a practice during the viewing with Melissa, Stu, and Joe.

In the evening (after my daytime nap), we ate dinner and then spread a blanket on the floor, brought together a big bag of mini chocolate bars and Tootsie Rolls, and began to read The Chocolate Touch aloud.
What is better than chocolate for bringing serotonin and peace after a trying day, right?!

I did not count on chasing Eva down so often as her naked little hiney whizzed around the corner time and time again and her little potty is quite loud on the kitchen wooden floor--oh well.  She had no nap and so we gave her a little lea way.

A funny thought came to me at the Viewing last night.  God is merciful and though hard for us for Michael to pass right now--better for him.  He had not lost all his dignity to this debilitating disease, yet!

The day before--my silly heart struggled to "turn over" and "right itself" after laying down with Eva for a long time to put her to sleep on my left side.  When I got up and took Hannah across town, my heart was beating funny and full of pressure--I thought I was having a (mostly painless) Heart Attack.  When I Googled things, it turns out to fit a condition called MVP--Mitral Valve Prolapse.  This is a genetic condition that Mike (probably) had and my Mom.

Doctor Gordon Harkness mentioned that this may even be so intense becuase I halved my thyroid medications and it is TOO LOW and my heart is working hard while dormant.  Cardiologist are very hard to get into so we may have to get in through the ER.

This has added yet another lay of pressure on this early pregnancy.  Oh well, Proverbs 3:5-6 right?