How Do People Stay Positive When Things are Really Tough?

LIFEadvice: The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice

By Kimberly Sayer-giles, ksl.com Contributor

August 26th, 2011 @ 10:40pm

Question:

How do people stay positive when things are really rough? I know we can’t be the only family struggling to keep our heads above water. Could you give us any tips for getting through the discouragement? How can we stay happy in the face of huge setbacks and problems?

Answer:

I’m so glad you asked this question because you are definitely not alone. Most families are experiencing some fear and stress about their situations right now.

Here are nine tips for surviving rough times with a smile.

1. Understand that even if you can't control outside circumstances, you can decide how you want to experience them. Since negativity will get you nowhere, choose a positive attitude even if it’s ridiculously optimistic. Refuse to dwell in fear.

Consciously choose to trust that you will make it through and gain strength and wisdom from this experience. Every situation makes you a better person and this one will serve you in some way. Choose to believe good things are coming. They might be – you don’t know what’s around the next corner and it’s more enjoyable to expect the best than the worst.

2. Remember this won’t last forever. Life is cyclical and you will always have your ups and downs. Life is a beautiful mix of blessings and challenges. Whether things are good or bad, it won’t last forever. Decide to accept the impermanent nature of life. Those who expect it to always be easy will always be disappointed. Try to embrace the difficult times as a perfect and inevitable part of your journey.

3. Hang out with positive people. Avoid negative people who wallow in their stories of woe. Misery loves company but it doesn’t have to be yours. Choose to associate with people who think positive. Make friends with people who are problem solvers and motivated to create good things in their lives. It will rub off on you.

4. Read encouraging, uplifting books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Choose books that give you a fresh perspective on life and music that makes you want to dance. A library card and listening to the radio are both free. The personal development author and speaker Og Mandino wrote about the night his life fell apart. He thought about killing himself but decided to go to the library instead. He read every book he could find on positive thinking and it changed his life. It could change yours.

5. Start a gratitude journal. Focus on what you do have. Enjoy even the smallest of blessings and treasure every simple happy moment. Take time each day to write down five things you are grateful for. You’ll be amazed at how blessed you really are.

6. Work on your spirituality. Research shows that those who practice faith and maintain a relationship with God live longer and more satisfying lives. Turn your worries over to a higher power and practice faith.

7. Laugh as much as possible. Laugh together as a family. Watch funny movies, read joke books and keep your sense of humor alive. Watch "Wipeout" or "America's Funniest Home Videos." For some reason watching other people fail really cheers you up. When we were struggling we often laughed about just how bad off we were. We had nothing more to lose so we just had to laugh at it.

8. Reach out to others who are worse off than you. Get your focus off your own problems. Perform acts of service. Find a place to volunteer. Service will change your perspective. You will feel better right away.

9. Get some help. A little professional help could make a huge difference especially if you are feeling depressed. You are in charge of your destiny so get some help to change the course of your life. There are many life coaches, counselors and therapists in your area to call on.

"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." - Earl Nightingale

Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of LDS Life Coaching and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach who has a popular radio show LIFEadvice on Utah's AM 1430 Saturday Mornings at 8 a.m. MST

Our Mexican Vacation (Part 2)

On the road again! Still heading south through Arizona...cactus forests, swirling dust devils, sand, weeds, different little roadside alters and grave markers (which I had trouble getting a picture of!). Joe fills up for gas and gets ice creams for the kids in the balmy southern Arizona heat. Bubble-blowing contest or "Bored Kids." The U.S. Border from the Arizona aide.

Our Mexican Vacation (Part 1)

Joe has listened to a friend at work rave about a place called Rocky Point (Puerto Penasco) Mexico for a few years now. Our vacation week was coming and we had planned to take the children to Lake Powell for the Meteor Shower in mid August. We looked at places to stay and found a good deal on a two bedroom condo with a pull-out sofa bed with ground floor access to the pool and beach and we began to dream...

It is 15 hours or so by car from here to there (in addition to stops which our family needed lots of). Some funny memories of the trip down...We passed 4 semis of chickens not long after crossing into very hot Arizona. The white chickens feather blew around the road like it was fulfilling the phrase, "When it snows in ____________" We enjoyed listening to an audio book when the Veggietale movie did not hold the driver's interest any longer. Everyone from our four year old to our thirteen year old listened (without getting bored!) to Okay For Now by Gary D. Schmidt.

In Arizona, we neared Flagstaff at twilight. Joe was hoping to push on to Phoenix or even Gila Bend. We had no reservation and I was tired and so we found a Rodeway Inn. We should have been clued in by the security man walking the parking lot, or the sign below in the sparsely furnished room, or the moldy smell and the squishy carpet right out of the bathroom. We stayed in probably an unsavory part of town. Still, we had real beds to sleep in, we ate a simple breakfast of muffins and got back on the road fairly early the next day.

Temple

Funny?

"So what I'm gonna do now is freak the freak out!..." We pass this sign every day. Bekah is taking a two week guitar workshop. Don't forget to "freekit!"

Nonfiction Fiction Fans Will Love

Book Matters: Nonfiction fiction fans will love

August 3rd, 2011 @ 7:40pm

By Teri Harman, ksl.com contributor

SALT LAKE CITY — Many readers don't even realize that they have fallen into a rut.

Many get comfortable in one or two genres and never think of branching out. If you are in a fiction-rut, then it's time to pull out and read some nonfiction. Not all non-fiction is academic, dry or difficult to finish. These real-life stories are as well written, moving and memorable as the best fictional novels. And it's a wonderful way to learn something new and enhance the reading experience.

Reach up, climb out and grab one of these unbelievably good books:

1. "Shadow Divers" by Robert Kurson

Imagine strapping on an oxygen tank — life in a bottle — and diving to the undiscovered depths of the ocean. Imagine swimming through the ghostly skeletal ruins of a sunken submarine, moving an inch a minute to avoid stirring up too much silt, and praying that the deteriorating structure around you does not collapse. Imagine risking your own life and watching fellow divers die, all in the name of discovery.

For John Chatterton and Richie Kohler that was life. That was how they uncovered the answer to one of the last mysteries of World War II. This book is their story. It's riveting, beautifully written and quite simply one of the best nonfiction adventure stories out there. Read it!

This one is good for guys.

2. "The Man Who Listens to Horses" by Monty Roberts

One Sunday afternoon a couple years ago, while visiting my parents' house, I was lazily browsing the bookshelves and came across this book. It had been sitting on that shelf since Christmas of 1997, as the inscription from my mom to my dad read, but I had never before bothered to look at it. I turned to the first page and soon could not put it down. I would never have guessed that I would find such depth, such tenderness, and such perfection in the pages of this humble book.

Monty Roberts is the real-life horse whisperer — a man with a rare and miraculous ability to relate to horses. Roberts' gift, afforded by a rare kind of color blindness and hours of careful observation, allows him to communicate with horses and other animals with body language and unique techniques. His journey from rodeo rider to revolutionizing the horse-training world is a gentle, inspirational and unforgettable story.

Absolutely amazing. This one is also good for guys.

3. "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" by Aron Ralston

If you've been to my blog recently, you may have noticed this book. I read it a few months ago and my book club just finished our exciting exploration of it. I picked it up expecting to find a harrowing survival story, but instead I found a physical, mental and spiritual journey that has forever touched my soul. It's a surprise so deeply human and so beautifully written, that I can't say enough about it.

Ralston was forced to cut off his own arm after it was pinned by a large boulder while he was hiking in a southern Utah slot canyon. The intriguing thing about the story is not that he cuts off his own arm, but the thoughts, emotions and experiences that led up to that incredible act.

This one is also good for guys.

4. "The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" by Ree Drummond

Drummond, a city girl turned rancher's wife, started blogging in 2006. Her humorous observations and accounts of ranch life soon earned her a loyal and large following. One morning, unsure of what to post on her blog, Drummond wrote a short blurb about how she and her husband, known as Marlboro Man, met and fell in love. Readers went nuts, and she wrote more. Soon that one short story turned into a published memoir.

This humorous telling of her love story is a delight to read. I constantly forgot that the story was real. It reads just like a fabulous southern novel.

5. "My Life in France" by Julia Child with Alex Prud'Homme

After seeing the movie, "Julie and Julia,” which is now one of my favorites, I picked up this book eager to know more about this fascinating woman's life. This memoir, completed by her nephew after Child's death in 2004, tells the story of 6 foot 2 inch tall woman from Pasadena, Calif., who was out of place but looking for a purpose in France. Her journey from bored housewife to culinary genius is remarkably endearing and entertaining.

Child's story proves that if you love something and work hard, then you can be successful. She forever changed the way Americans cook and pioneered the way for TV chefs.

I find myself in the fiction rut on a regular basis and am always looking to break up my routine with unforgettable nonfiction. What is your favorite nonfiction book? Share your picks on the Comment Board or on the Book Matters Facebook page. You can also send me a tweet at @bookmattersblog.

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About the Author: Teri Harman

Teri Harman writes and reads from home amid the chaos of three young children. For more book reviews and book fun, visit her blog at book-matters.blogspot.com You can also follow Teri on Facebook (Book Matters) or Twitter (@bookmattersblog)

Harry Potter Party (Part 2)

The Party-going "First Years" turn the magical brick and enter Diagon Alley to purchase their school supplies: black work robe, caldron, wand, quill, various spell books, pet (cat, rat, owl, toad, etc.)

Posted notices about Sirus Black, escaped serial killer from Azkaban. A gaggle of giggly First Years at Hogworts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Bekah with best friend Abby (Can you guess who she is? Rita Skeeter, of course!) All the Hogwort's students push their things past the 9 3/4 sign at King's Cross Station to board the train. (Minus the pesky wind, with the door open, the children liked the pathetic attempt at a magical brick wall.) The Moving Staircase that leads to the Main Hall at Hogwort's has "moving pictures" on the walls. (We found these at the local dollar store--they are a little "Dark Artsy.")