Just One of Those Kind of Days

Ever have one of those kinds of days? Joe got up and took Hannah to the bus stop--where one child is waiting. Half an hour later Hannah comes in the door and informs Joe that they must have missed the bus because it never came. "Why didn't you call (on her new prepaid cell)." "I don't have an minutes left on it...besides I like to walk(!?)." He drives her to school forty-five minutes after classes started. Back at the ranch, son walks around in a drunken (short on sleep) kind of stupor and because it takes him an hour to get dressed (shorts, shirt, and sandals) and put his lunch into a sack, we all end up running to school. Then midway through our run I realize somethings wrong. "Jonathan, where is your backpack?" "Oh! It's by the (front) door!" Yes, I ran back to get it. Rebekah doesn't stop to wait for brother or his backpack. Pushing the double stroller with preschooler and baby strapped in it, running down the hill towards Rebekah, she yells LOUDLY, "Mom, Mom, You're jiggling all over!" Nice! (The devil in me wanted to retort..."Ever heard of Curves...people pay for what I've got!" or "I had a lot less jiggles before I had the five of you!"). I tell her her comments aren't kind. "Well... I like your sweater!" she responds. Baby is not napping but screaming on the walk uphill. I take her out and push preschooler with one hand and hold content but wiggly baby in the other arm. Now home, I put sleeping baby into portable swing in a downstairs bedroom (because contractors are sawing upstairs again today) and get peaches to peel and slice for hungry preschooler. I bring a bowl to Joe and return to the kitchen. Baby is up and howling. I rescue her from the swing, grab a chair and the newly arrived Mockingjay (thanks, Amazon--it only took you seven days to send a book we pre-ordered months ago that was released a week ago in stores) to nurse Eva and to read aloud to Joe (home on a work vacation putting grout in holes and cracks before we can paint upstairs). Susie is supposedly watching PBS learning to read show downstairs. Susie gets herself dressed. She comes upstairs wearing pants that look like capris (too small) and baby's six months knit dress from the drying rack (she thinks this is her short sleeved pink shirt). I need a drink of water. I walk into the upstairs bathroom. The cups are lined up on along the counter. The white cup of Jonathans has water in it. It looks funny. Pale yellow. It stands next to the dark blue cup which is also filled. I smell them. "Susie, did you pee in this (these) cup(s)?" "Sorry, Mom!" She ducks her head. What? I put baby in the large swing and snap on the tray. She is temporarily placated by the fascinating fish mobile. She is gently swinging. Susie pushes her into a fast swing. "Gently, only swing her lightly." I caution. I head to the bathroom. Eva begins to cry. I figure the mobile has stopped and Susie has lost interest in her. Susie begins to whine and heads downstairs. I call to still whining Susie, "what's wrong? Did you get hurt?" "Noooo, PBS turned off!" I come back into the baby's room and find the swing tipped over with baby still pinned in the seat--mobile groaning as it tries to turn around and catches on the carpet. Baby is irritated but not hurt. I call back to Susie who doesn't understand that if she tips over baby she must come and get me to right the swing. I read a story to her and she falls asleep. I fall asleep. Baby falls asleep. I wake and go to sneak out of (Jonathan's) bed. Baby wakes up and begins to squirm and whimper. I grab baby and make lunch. Joesph comes down stairs starving. We have sandwiches, chips (a special treat), and plums. Susie wakes up. "Susie, are you hungry? I made up a sandwich. I left it down on the table on a plate." "MOM! I don't want that!" She bursts into tears. Weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Now it is time to pick up the children from school and bus stop. Opps. Jonathan has a twins birthday party and so I will have to call the mother of his scheduled play date (made yesterday) and reschedule for another day. Good thing I picked up two craft kits at the store for presents (an airplane model kit and a paint it yourself porcelain tea set). Bad thing Jonathan drops the fragile present onto the marble floor while going out the front door. Off to the store to get chips for the impromptu Grandmother's birthday BBQ dinner. (Happy Birthday dear Grammy). It is only afternoon...what other surprises may come my way? Think Publisher's Clearinghouse will call? Calgon take me away (and somehow pull a miracle in my laundry room will ya!). Post-edit: Joe says my glass is "half empty." I say, "no dear, it is half full--of pee."