This morning Joe accompanied me to the Infertility Endocrinologist, Shawn Gurtcheff, where she performed an early ultrasound. We found out several weeks ago that we were expecting and also had a strange "almost period" at the beginning of June. Was this implantation bleeding? Could I be further along than usual?
The mind does strange things the night before an ultrasound. In my early morning dream, an older Eva was followed around by two toddler boys, twins, with dark brown straight hair.
Well, the ultrasound showed a yoke sac, embryo, and fluttering heart beat. Early, Six weeks. AND another yoke sac. A second sac. Smaller. No heartbeat or embryo detected. Dr. Gurtcheff mentioned that it may have been that this sac was not fertilized or that it was not implanted. "The body will probably reabsorb this sac."
Part of me feels torn. Happy to have seen a little heart beat fluttering (which does cut down miscarriage rates to less than 50% when seen--but miscarriage is still an option, at least for the next six weeks or so.) Sad to realize that this baby may have started out as two, one never developing (VTS--Vanishing Twins Syndrome). This is much more common than we realize and has been brought up more because of technology and early ultrasounds where the second sac is found and identified before the mother, placenta, or baby's body absorbs the second sac. Hmm.
Fool Hardy to hold out hope for two--that conceptions and implantation dates could have been different and that might justify the smaller sac not detecting a heart beat yet? Probably so. Still, I want to hold out hope!
Happy to be pregnant? Yes. Feeling like I've been pregnant all ready WAY too long to learn I am only just at the very beginning! Yes.
Estimated baby coming--mid March 2013.
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6 comments:
I always wonder if there is a child yet to raise in the Millennium for every miscarried embryo. Who knows, maybe you will still have twins, separated by time. How weird would that be? Congratulations and good luck on the newest addition(s)!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! we hope all goes well for you and your family!
Julie,
I am SO happy for you. You will be in my prayers that all will go well. You are such a wonderful lady, you deserve to have all the happiness in the world. Love you.
Congratulations and condolences all at the same time. We are happy for you to be pregnant, sorry to hear of the loss, hope the other one thrives and arrives safely in March.
And all your feelings of sadness about that second lost embryo are not only perfectly normal, but also perfectly understandable. I would be sad and confused and hopeful beyond all hope as well.
Dear Family (and Friends--consider you family too),
Thank you for your understanding and support. I forgot how emotional pregnancy is with it's ups and downs! My poor kids wonder what has happened to their usually stable mother. Oh well. Thanks for the comfort and we will all cross our fingers that this sweet little one decides to STAY! Yes, Becca--I am mourning a little becuase od knows I would love and raise whoever and however many He sends. I understand that older ladies (like me?) tend to have more this much more common--maybe the body sending out multiples so that one can be implanted.
Once again, thank YOU so very much. Elfi is in the hospital very sick again with cancer and my sister in law' sister's husband just committed suicide. Hard times. Thankful for the sun rising every morning.
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