Harry Potter Party (Part 1)

When our second daughter informed us that she would like to have a Harry Potter Party for her Eleventh Birthday, we were a little overwhelmed and hesitant because we had around two weeks to pull it off. I began ordering some "essentials" from Amazon (Sorting hat, Platform 9 and 3/4 sign, a plastic brick wall, a Hogworts Banner, a smoking cauldron, etc.) so they would come in time.

We gathered supplies we would need, loaned library books on hosting a party and magical cooking, and made a cool Hogworts invitation and hand delivered them. We used green wax and an old seal. We individually addressed each child "student's invitation to attend Hogwort's School." Joe made up a Marauder's Map with a map to our house we included in the invitation. The night before the party, we made candy, decorated, and tried to set up all we could. I hope the pictures below will help to "say a thousand words" so I won't have to. "Princess," Joe, "Party Girl" and LavonAlise are gathering around our double broiler making the filled Chocolate Frogs for the party. On the table shown are Cockroach Clusters (left), Peppermint Toads (shown upper right side; dipped half way Haribo gummy frogs with crushed peppermint sprinkles), Wizard Hats (dipped Bugles), Chocolate Frogs (center), candy "Warts," and the Snowballs that Joe scavenged from all the gas stations around here for the "Pygmy Puffs." The Library table is filled with Harry Potter Party Props..."Funkins," Changing Pictures (from the Dollar Store), cauldrons, a metal spider, brick wall plasstic, things for our "Potions (Science experiments) and bags of Dollar Store Candy for our "Honeydukes Candy Shoppe." Joe's Sister, Lavonalise, and Bekah are making the favor bags (broomsticks with Quidditch Mix inside and large Pretzel stick handles." The Quidditch Mix (made up of Caramel Chex Mix, gummie frogs and worms, wizard hats (Bugles), mint chocolate drops--instead of red and yellow M and M's).

Manners?

Does your child have proper manners? Check the checklist

July 19th, 2011 @ 6:30pm

By Brooke Walker

SALT LAKE CITY — Recently, Dr. David Lowry published an online article that had parenting circles abuzz. He outlined 25 manners every child should know by the age of 9.

Some were obvious, like please, thank you and excuse me. But just how on track are most 9-year-olds? We went straight to the source to test it out.

Related:

25 manners every child should learn before age 9 Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.

We clued in early on an "easy bribe" for our group of 8- almost 9-year-old test subjects: Buy them a McDonald's Happy Meal, and they were more than willing to talk — just not with their mouths full.

"Don't slurp," Maddy Hansen warned emphatically. "It will annoy other people who are trying to eat."

Her friends had other offering of good advice.

"Answer the phone politely, don't yell at people," said Greta Asay.

"Don't put your elbows on the table," cautioned Zoee Perry.

Rex Bell had a reminder for anyone enjoying a performance: "If you're phone is ringing, you should turn it off or not answer it."

While they were right on in their interpretation and comprehension of manners, etiquette blogger Janine Ottley says there are many people still playing catch up.

Want to teach manners?

If you're looking at David Lowry's list of 25 manners and thinking your child could use some help, here is a list of children's books written to teach manners:

• "Time to say Please" by Mo Willems
• "Mary Louise Loses her Manners" by Diane Cuneo
• "Manners Can be Fun" by Munro Leaf
• "Dear Miss Perfect" by Sandra Dutton
• "365 Manners Kids Should Know" by Sheryl Eberly

"Our culture forgot that these things are important. We're now playing catch-up because there is a whole new generation out there that does not have good manners," she said.

After reviewing Dr. Lowry's list, she felt a few points really popped to the top.

• If a door is shut? Knock.

  "I think it does show respect when. If a door is closed, they know there is a reason for that door being closed," Ottley agreed.

• Answering the phone politely.

  Ottley helps her kids learn the drill by signing them up for "Grandma Phone Camp."

  "My mom will spend the day for each particular child calling and training my kids to answer the phone properly," she explains. "And so for my household, they will call and my kids need to say, ‘Hello. Ottley's. This is 'so-and-so' speaking.'"

• Sitting through a performance.

  Barring any physical or emotional issues, Ottley says most 9-years-olds should be able to stick it out. "I think taking them out or making excuses makes it a lot more difficult to teach that."

More than just providing parental satisfaction, Ottley believes these simple skills will translate into life success.

"These are skills. No one will have to teach them, and I know will be impressive in the workplace and everywhere else they are," Ottley said. "I'm raising young ladies and young men with manners. It makes a huge difference."

Email: bwalker@ksl.com

25 Manners

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

by Parents.com, on Tue May 3, 2011 1:21pm PDT

Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons. By David Lowry, Ph.D. Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.- Manner #1 When asking for something, say "Please." Manner #2 When receiving something, say "Thank you." Manner #3

Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6

The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

Manner #7

Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Manner #8

When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10

Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11

When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12

Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Manner #13

Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14

Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15

Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Manner #16

Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17

If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

Manner #18

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20

If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21

When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Manner #22

When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23

Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25

Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

Originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine.

To Spank or Not to Spank?

'One Dad's Perspective:' To spank or not to spank?

July 19th, 2011 @ 7:56pm

By Eric Sachs, ksl.com contributor

SALT LAKE CITY — How were you punished as a child? Spanking is one of the most common methods, used by more than 90 percent of American parents at some point and condoned by more than 70 percent of the population, according to Scientific American survey data from 1995 and 2005.

I never understood spanking because, barring unfortunate sounds made at the dinner table in front of guests, I have yet to see a person’s gluteus maximus do something deserving a smack. I believe the punishment should fit the crime.

"I never understood spanking because, barring unfortunate sounds made at the dinner table in front of guests, I have yet to see a person's gluteus maximus do something deserving a smack."

Spanking, as a form of punishment for children, is not a new concept. It has been used since biblical times and probably even before then. Whatever and whenever the origin of spanking, using it on a child as punishment can cause long-term effects that may be unknown to parents:

• Spanking is normally targeted at the buttocks, but that is an area we try to teach our children is off-limits to other people. This can confuse children and, as they grow up, they may associate pain with intimate encounters.
• Hitting a child teaches them to become hitters. Children will learn their parents resolve conflicts with physical attacks, so when someone does something your child doesn’t like, their first response may be to hit.
• Physically harming your child can cause a serious rift in the parent/child bond. It’s difficult to feel love or even affection for someone who hits you.
• Spanking does not correct the behavior; it merely teaches the child to fear making mistakes.

A group of 15 experts in child development and psychology found correlations between physical punishment and an increase in childhood anxiety and depression, an increase in behavioral problems including aggression, and impaired cognitive development, even when the child’s pre-punishment behavior and development were taken into consideration, according to psychologist Sandra Graham-Bermann of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. She provides a wealth of information on her website at www.SandraGB.com.

Some parents may feel spanking is OK because they don’t spank hard, or they spank only once or twice a week, or any number of other reasons. No matter how we try to minimize a spanking, the bottom line (no pun intended) is spanking is still hitting a child. In fact, the definition of spanking, according to dictionary.com, is "(used with object) 1. To strike (a person, usually a child) with the open hand, a slipper, etc., especially on the buttocks, as in punishment." I can't see how striking a child could ever be considered beneficial.

Children learn one of two ways: being taught by someone or making mistakes. They are new to this world and do not understand how everything works yet.

As adults, we often take our hard-earned knowledge for granted and fail to teach our children everything they need to know before they need to know it. By the time we reach adulthood, most daily things come naturally to us because we have been doing them for years and often forget our children haven't.

"Since it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children how to deal with life, it would behoove us to find a more positive means of instruction than hitting them."

For example, if we tell our child to sweep the kitchen floor, but they have never seen anyone sweep, they will have no idea how to do it. They know it's done with the broom, but they don't know how to hold the broom or how to move it to achieve maximum effectiveness.

Since it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children how to deal with life, it would behoove us to find a more positive means of instruction than hitting them. The first thing we should remember to do is explain to children what they did wrong and why it is wrong. Knowing the reason why something is wrong can be almost as important as knowing it is wrong.

Contrary to popular belief, using “because I said so” is not going to help the child understand.

If punishment is required, there are many options that don't involve physical violence. If you are having difficulty coming up with a suitable punishment, try sitting down with your children and asking them. Give them a few options and let them choose. It is much easier for people to accept, understand and learn from a punishment when they were involved with the decision.

Think of it this way: if you were at work and made a mistake, would you want your boss to come up to you and explain the right way to do it, or would you want him or her to come over and paddle your bum?

---

Eric is the father of three and recently became a grandfather.

Modest is Hottest (and Mysterious, too!)

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder." — Emma Watson