Book Review: The Gift of Fear

I've been listening to a book recommended by a friend (thanks Rachel). Our library did not have the one she recommended, Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe(and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker. They did have an audio cassette copy of an earlier book that shares some of the same stories from reading the reviews. The book is entitled, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence. What a wonderful life changing "listen" this audio book has been for me. So much violence could be avoided if we listened to (and didn't reason away) our intuition. Also, violence has signs that predict and warn of it's behavior. Gavin de Becker is a leading expert of violent and criminal behavior. A "junkie" of television news myself, I was interested when Mr. de Becker mentioned he doesn't watch the local news. He has an interesting explanation as to why, focusing predominately on media being "more sensationalism and less informationalism." "Though television news would have us think differently, the important question is not how we might die but rather how shall we live and that is up to us. In my life and work, I've seen the darkest part of the human soul, at least I hope they are the darkest, that has helped me see more clearly the brightness of the human spirit. Feeling the sting of violence myself has helped me feel more keenly the hand of human kindness. Given the frenzy and the power of the various violence industry, the fact that most Americans live without violence is a sign of something wonderful in us...." "Abraham Lincoln referred to the "better angels of our nature" and they must surely exist." Yes, I believe that too! What are you listening to?

From Publishers Weekly

Dostoyevski said that child abuse is evil because it destroys a childs faith in the goodness of God. In this painstakingly practical yet impassioned guide, de Becker, author of last years bestselling The Gift of Fear, demonstrates that a child who was himself abused can grow up to be a vigilant protector of the gift of childrens innate faith in the goodness of life. Writing with a precision honed from his long experience as a security expert predicting violence in order to protect high-profile clients, and with a depth born of his own childhood understanding of how it feels to be hurt by the adult you love, de Becker describes how we can keep our children safe. Although he devotes separate chapters to the special threats facing children and teens, females and males (the murderous romance of boys and guns is covered), his basic message is encapsulated in 12 steps. Echoing his previous book, the first step involves teaching children to honor their feelings specifically, the intuition that makes them fear certain people. Children also need a parents permission to be assertive, to defy adults, to yell and fully resist. Throughout, de Becker stresses a childs need to trust that a parent will be open to listen about any experience, no matter how unpleasant. He opens and concludes with tales of ordinary mothers who overcame their doubts and inhibitions to experience a brilliantly intuitive wild brain as they fought off attackers to protect their children. De Becker offers a guide to fostering this fierce intelligence in our kids, ourselves and our society. Everyone in contact with children should read this important book. It can help save lives. BOMC, QPB and Childrens BOMC featured alternates; first serial to USA Weekend; second serial to Good Housekeeping; author tour. Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.